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St. Agrestis
Amaro Falso

Freaking delicious if you already liked Amaro — like Amaro with a slight note of cola.

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Fieldwork Brewing
Headliner IPA

Delicious, hoppy, and refreshing — none of the syrupy mouthfeel most NA beers have.

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Ish
Non-Alcoholic Gin

Probably the best NA "gin" out there — robust and heavy on the juniper.

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Athletic Brewing
Tucker's West Coast IPA

Tastes and feels almost indistinguishable from the real thing — easily the favorite NA beer here.

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Ish
"Aperol" Spritz

Super refreshing, tastes close to the real thing — just watch the sugar.

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Athletic Brewing
All Out Extra Dark

A really good porter with the right body and a nutty porter taste.

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Roots Divino
Aperitif Rosso

An excellent sweet vermouth substitute — just quite high in sugar.

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Dram
Cardamom and Black Tea

Freaking delicious — tastes exactly like it sounds.

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Athletic Brewing
Cerveza Atletica Light Copper

Fantastic taste and body — tastes a lot like a Negra Modelo.

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Lyre's
Classico Sparkling

A really great prosecco replacement — nice bubbles, not too sweet.

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Barrel Brothers
Dad Pants Pilsner

Really excellent Pilsner — can be hard to find, and watch out for the full-alcohol version of the same name.

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Parch
Desert Margarita

Another winner from Parch — a delightful, complex citrus, less smoky than their Piñarita.

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BrewDog
Ghost Walker

Really hoppy and tasty — and the can looks hella cool, too.

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Ish
Gin and Tonic

A very convincing rendition of a gin and tonic.

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Kally
Golden Sparkler

Green tea, verjus, and botanicals — a nice sparkling white-wine replacement that isn't trying to taste like wine.

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Partake Brewing
IPA

Delicious with a decent body — a rare NA beer that doesn't feel thin.

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Untitled Art
Italian Style Pils

An extremely convincing near beer — almost completely fills the void.

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Ish
Lime Daiquiri

A convincing daiquiri from a brand that keeps winning — no idea how they do it.

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Pathfinder
Negroni (Premixed)

The best premixed NA Negroni tried so far — better than DIY versions built from separate NA spirits.

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Non
No. 1 Salted Raspberry and Chamomile

Doesn't try to taste like wine, but fills the same emotional and practical role — and it's not too sweet.

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Non
No. 3 Toasted Cinnamon and Yuzu

A white-wine stand-in that isn't trying to mimic wine — delicious and low sugar.

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Non
No. 7 Stewed Cherry and Coffee

A red-wine stand-in that isn't trying to mimic wine — delicious and low sugar.

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Partake Brewing
Pale

Also delicious — Partake winning again.

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BrewDog
Punk AF Hoppy Ale

Nice hoppy taste, decent body — easy to forget it has no alcohol.

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Ish
Sparkling Rosé

Comes in a full champagne-style bottle, feels more festive than cans — a winner, and relatively low sugar.

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Parch
Spiced Piñarita

Smoky and spicy, feels like more than a soda — a real find for mezcal fans.

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Roots Divino
Aperitif Bianco

Spicy and yummy on its own terms — a good dry vermouth replacement, if a little sweet.

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Hella Cocktail Co.
Bitters & Soda Bittersweet Spritz

More sugar than expected, but a nice bitter, refreshing flavor that reads as "a thing."

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Peychaud's
Bitters and Soda

The house favorite bitters for a quick bitters-and-soda.

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Ish
Caribbean Spiced Spirit "Rum"

Not rum, but it has real potential — one of the few NA spirits with actual bite.

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Lyre's
Dark 'N Spicy

A ginger mixer with real bite, standing in for a Dark 'n' Stormy — just sugary.

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Casamara Club
Fora (Strawberry)

A really nice lower-sugar strawberry botanical soda.

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Pathfinder
Hemp and Root

A bit much to drink solo, but a genuinely good building block for mocktails.

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Kin Euphorics
Light Wave (Grounding Calm)

A calm, smoky bedtime drink with adaptogens — lower sugar thanks to stevia.

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Opia
Organic Non-Alcoholic Rosé

A good, lightly sparkling rosé that's not too sweet — nothing to feel embarrassed bringing to a party.

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St. Agrestis
Phony Negroni

Kind of a lot of sugar, but it really tastes like a Negroni.

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Athletic Brewing
Run Wild IPA

An extremely convincing near beer — almost easy to forget it doesn't have alcohol.

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Sovi
Sparkling Rosé

Refreshing and not too sweet.

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Sovi
Sparkling White

Low in sugar and tastes convincing — not just grape juice.

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Little Saints
St Ember

A genuinely great standalone spirit with a nice citrus/smoky/spicy balance — huge mocktail potential, still looking for its perfect recipe.

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Ghia
Sumac and Chili

A nice, complex, just-right-spicy flavor — probably a great mocktail ingredient.

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BrewDog
Tornado Joe 2.0 Thunderkiss Coffee

Marketed as an NA coffee beer, drinks more like a very tasty coffee soda.

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Greenbar Distillery
UN Rum and Coke

A pretty good approximation of a rum and coke.

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Odd Bird
Blanc de Blancs

Pretty good, though a slightly thick mouthfeel keeps it out of favorite territory.

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Abstinence
Blood Orange Bittersweet Aperitif

Nice over ice in an aperitif glass, or spritzed with soda.

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BrewDog
Born to Rum Mocktail

Drinks like a soda, not a mocktail or a beer — but a quite tasty one.

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Surely
Brut

Good for pouring into a wine glass at a party — a little too sweet and syrupy to be a favorite, though not too sugary on paper.

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Pentire
Coastal Spritz

Like an Aperol spritz in a can, but a bit more soda-y.

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Mingle Mocktails
Cranberry Cosmo

A darn good approximation of a cosmo — a few drops of Bitter Tears' "Kiki" bitters adds bite without changing the flavor much.

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Fieldwork Brewing
Day Money Grapefruit Blonde

You have to like grapefruit essence in your beer, but if you do, this is fantastic.

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Partake Brewing
Dunkel

Fantastic taste for a dark lager fan, though the body is ever so slightly light.

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Leitz
Eins Zwei Zero Rosé

A bit on the sugary side, but refreshing and nice in a wine glass at a party.

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BrewDog
Elvis AF Hoppy Grapefruit

Surprisingly good, even for someone who doesn't generally like fruity beers.

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For Bitter For Worse
Eva's Spritz

A pretty bitter slow sipper, nice over ice in a rocks glass at night.

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Hella Cocktail Co.
Five-Flavor Bitters Set

Get creative mixing these with soda water.

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Monday
Gin

None of the NA gins are truly good, but this is the closest — makes a nice-ish martini shaken with a lemon twist.

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Dram
Ginger Cinnamon

Tasty, but this reads as a lower-sugar adult soda, not a drink-time substitute.

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Grüvi
Golden

A nice refreshing beer for a hot day — not much flavor, but not meant to be.

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Guinness
Guinness Zero

Not quite the body of the real thing, but damn close — tasty and convincing.

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BrewDog
Hazy AF

If you like hazy IPAs, this is pretty good.

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Avec
Jalapeño Blood Orange

Very tasty, but again this is a lower-sugar adult soda, not a drink-time substitute.

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Monday
Mezcal

The best of the fake mezcals — but only worth it if you liked real mezcal to begin with.

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Little Saints
Mojito

Tasty and low sugar, with an unusual mushroom-and-monk-fruit edge that won't be for everyone.

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Casamara Club
Onda Amaro Club Soda

Tastes like a grownup highball drink, not just a soda — low in sugar, though highballs just aren't a personal favorite.

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Ghia
Original Aperitif

Super delicious and Campari-adjacent, best in a spritzer — a slightly off smell is the only real drawback.

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Partake Brewing
Peach Gose

Meant to imitate a fruity beer, but drinks more like a genuinely tasty soda.

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Rationale Brewing
Rational Vibes Cerveza

Good stuff, a little heavier than an actual Mexican lager — probably improved with lime.

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Ghia
Salt and Lime Spritz

A nice, complex taste that doesn't map to any specific cocktail — cold, straight from the can into a cocktail-up glass is the move.

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For Bitter For Worse
Smoky No. 56

Also tasty in a rocks glass at night.

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Susurrus
Sparkling Tea

A good low-sugar stand-in for a light wine when one would otherwise be called for.

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Pathfinder
Spritz

A nice premixed Aperol-spritz-like thing.

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Athletic Brewing
Upside Dawn Golden Ale

Light, refreshing, and pretty beer-like — just a little short of perfect.

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Untitled Art
West Coast IPA

You won't mistake it for the real thing, but it's decently close.

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Leitz
Zero Point Five Pinot Noir

Probably the best dealcoholized red wine tried so far, but still not quite favorite-tier.

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Recess
Zero Proof Ginger Lime Mule

Doesn't taste like a Moscow Mule, but it is a tasty grownup soda.

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Lyre's
American Malt and Cola

A super tasty jack-and-coke stand-in, just not special enough — and a lot of sugar (17g).

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Bonbuzz
Bonbuzz

Spicy enough to make even a rough fake tequila almost palatable when mixed.

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Hella Cocktail Co.
Classic Dry Aromatic Bitters and Soda

The "aromatic" version is better, but this classic dry one is fine too — just very bitter.

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Leitz
Eins Zwei Zero Sparkling Riesling

Bordering on too sweet, but refreshing and nice in a wine glass at a party.

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Clever
Margarita

Bills itself as an NA margarita, but reads more like an interesting zero-calorie soda.

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Proxies
Pink Salt

Not wine and not pretending to be — but occupies the same space at the table.

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Giesen
Pinot Grigio

Tastes fine, and the real appeal is that it's not overly sugary, not too sweet, and relatively low calorie.

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Proxies
Red Clay

Not wine and not pretending to be — but occupies the same space at the table.

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Surely
Sparkling Rosé

Works fine, though the Sovi rosé is better.

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Best Day Brewing
West Coast IPA

You won't mistake it for real beer, but it's not bad.

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Le Naturel
Zero Zero Tinto

Not fantastic, but not too bad either.

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RSRV Collective
Amari & Orana

Really tasty, but in a "top-shelf soda" way, not a luxury-cocktail way — plus a lot of sugar and an opaque ingredient list.

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Lapo's
Amaro Cola

Not terrible, not amazing, and kind of a lot of sugar.

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Mocktail Club
Bombay Fire

Had high hopes, but it really just tastes like pomegranate juice — tasty, not very cocktaily.

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BrewDog
Clockwork AF Hoppy Tangerine

Tasty enough, but the fruity-beer trend just doesn't scratch an itch here.

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Curious Elixirs
Curious Elixir

The spicy pineapple one is good; the rest are hit and miss and collectively very juice-forward.

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Barrel Brothers
Dark Sarcasm Porter

Good flavor, but the body isn't there — more like burnt barley soda than a real porter experience.

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Kin Euphorics
Dream Light Nightcap

Genuinely likeable, but hard to categorize and spoils fast once opened.

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Free Spirits
Gin

Slightly better than other NA gins, with a nice peppery bite — but Monday and Ish gins are still better.

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BrewDog
Hazy AF Guava

A good example of its kind, but hazy and fruity beers just aren't a personal favorite style.

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Barrel Brothers
Hazy IPA

Good taste but no body — a hop-water experience, not a beer experience.

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Kin Euphorics
High Rhode Social Hour

Also likeable, also hard to categorize, also spoils quickly.

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Grüvi
Mocha Nitro Stout

Really tasty, but literally flat — worth trying again in case it was just a bad six-pack.

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BrewDog
Nanny State Hoppy Golden

Fine, but not fantastic.

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Three Spirit
Nightcap

A little witchy to drink alone; might work as a mocktail ingredient, but the ideal recipe hasn't turned up yet, and it spoils fast.

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Wilfred's
Non-Alcoholic Aperitif

A fine enough Campari substitute in a pinch, but weak-bodied — the Abstinence Blood Orange Bittersweet does it better.

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Parch
Prickly Paloma

Easy to imagine someone else liking this — just wasn't a personal fit.

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Seedlip
Seedlip

The default answer behind most bars' mocktail menus — better used to slow down a low-ABV cocktail than as a true zero-alcohol substitute.

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Flyers Cocktail Co.
Tokyo Marg

An interesting flavor that doesn't quite land solo, but has potential as a mocktail ingredient.

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Rationale Brewing
West Coast IPA

Nice hoppy taste but basically no body — closer to a hop-water seltzer than a beer.

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Dram
"Le Dram" Cocktail: Citrus Spritz

Tastes nice, but totally forgettable — and expensive to boot.

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Partake Brewing
Blonde

Fine, but thick-feeling and flat-sweet — worth noting blondes were never a personal favorite style to begin with.

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Partake Brewing
Hazy IPA

Not everything can be a winner.

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Mingle Mocktails
Key Lime Margarita

Tasty enough, but doesn't taste particularly grownup — adding Monday "mezcal" didn't help.

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Lyre's
Margarita (Premixed Can)

Fine enough, but not great, and not worth the sugar.

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Thomson & Scott
Noughty Rouge

Basically tastes like grape juice — not a very interesting flavor.

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Rasavada
Rasavada

Kind of meh on its own — might be an interesting mocktail ingredient, but no recipe found yet.

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Monday
Whiskey

Slightly better than other fake whiskeys, but only slightly.

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BrewDog
Zest X-Press Spiced Cider

Good flavor, but a hella syrupy mouthfeel makes it hard to recommend.

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Wilderton
Botanical Spirit: Earthen

Nasty solo, and a genuinely hard pair even for mocktails — eventually poured down the drain for good.

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Lagunitas
Non-Alcoholic Beer

This stuff sucks — but it's an early mover, so it's what most bars pour by default.

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Optimist Botanicals
"Smokey"

An overwhelming, unfocused mess of a flavor profile — expensive, too, despite the pretty bottle.

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BrewDog
Faux Fox Sharp Black Cherry

This is gross.

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Spiritless
Kentucky 74 "Bourbon"

It's everywhere, but it's one of the worse fake bourbons on the shelf.

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Saint Ivy
Moscow Mule

Nasty — had to pour it down the drain.

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RSRV Collective
Rosata & Botanica

Just gross.

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Surely
Sauvignon Blanc

Their brut is awesome, but this sauvignon blanc sucks.

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Free Spirits
Tequila

Especially nasty, even by fake-tequila standards.

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BrewDog
Toffee Baby

Expected to love this one — it's actually nasty.

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Greenbar Distillery
UN Gin and Tonic

Unlike their rum and coke, this is gross and tastes like soap.

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